Stop Pitching, Start Listening—The Secret to Building Partnerships That Last: Series Part 4

It’s easy to think that partnerships are all about the perfect pitch: you show up, make your case, and they say yes. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned in arts leadership, it’s that sustainable partnerships—and funding—are rarely built that way.

This is the final post in a series adapted from a workshop I led for ArtsCore, a program of the North Carolina Arts Council and Triangle Art Works that supports new Executive Directors across the state.

If you missed earlier posts, we’ve already talked about:

• The three-bucket framework to understand your role as an ED
• The Eisenhower Matrix to sort urgent from important
• Why sharing leadership makes you stronger

In our last post (spoiler: bonus post coming tomorrow), let’s talk about building partnerships that go beyond quick wins—and why trust matters more than a flashy pitch.

What Partnerships Really Mean

There are myriad partnerships an arts organization can have. For this post, I’m thinking about relationships that help your organization grow. That could be:

• Program partners – like-minded organizations, businesses, government agencies, and community leaders that help you serve more people and make a bigger impact.
• Funders – people who bring not just money, but ideas, advocacy, and influence that can open doors you didn’t even know existed.

Why It’s Easy to Default to “Shark Tank Mode”

When the pressure’s high and you’re feeling rushed, it’s easy to slip into what I call “Shark Tank mode”: focusing on delivering the perfect pitch to get the yes you need right now.

Sometimes that works—if the fit is obvious and the need is urgent. But more often, partnerships come from building relationships over time. When the partner doesn’t see the vision or feel the urgency that you see, it’s time to slow down.

Listening Comes Before the Pitch

Sustainable partnerships start with listening—not just to respond, but to really understand:

• What does this person care about?
• How do they make decisions?
• What’s important to them right now—even if it’s not what you came to talk about?

Real listening means acknowledging their priorities, even if they don’t align perfectly with yours.

For example, let’s say you meet with a city commissioner about arts funding, and they say, “We care about your work, but right now we’re dealing with a big garbage collection issue.”

It might be tempting to launch into your pitch anyway. But that sends the message that their concerns don’t matter. Instead, you could say, “I hear you—that’s a priority. Let’s stay in touch and circle back when the timing is better.” That shows you’re interested in helping—not just in getting help.

It’s a Long Game

Building partnerships takes time, especially here in the South, where relationships often come before partnerships. People remember how you made them feel. They’ll remember if you respected their timeline, listened with empathy, and showed up consistently.

The “no” you hear today might turn into a “yes” next year—if they trust you.

The Takeaway

Partnerships are more than pitches. They’re about trust, respect, and curiosity. They’re about finding shared goals and values—and building from there.

So the next time you’re tempted to lead with your agenda, pause. Listen first. It might just open the door to the kind of partnership that truly moves your organization forward.

Thanks for following along in this series. I hope it’s been helpful as you navigate the exciting and sometimes messy journey of leading an arts organization.

Big thanks to the North Carolina Arts Council and Triangle Art Works for making the ArtsCore program—and this series—possible.

Missed earlier posts? Catch up here:

• Part 1: A Simple Framework to Make Sense of the ED Role
• Part 2: Why Everything Feels Urgent—and What to Do About It
• Part 3: Why Sharing Leadership Makes You Stronger

Plus a bonus post coming tomorrow!